I see you.
I see you at Target.
I see you at Trader Joe's.
I saw you today in line at the drive through dry cleaner dropping off your significant other's (I assume) work shirts too.
I see you at the park, Costco, the Pet Food Store and the baby store buying diapers because you too ran out and Amazon doesn't deliver until next week.
People tell you that you look tired but in reality you just haven't done your makeup... in three weeks.
Basically, you're a hot mess.
You know how I know? Because I'm Lauren, and I'm a hot mess, too.
I thought being a stay at home mama was going to be so different. I thought I was always going to have ALL of our meals prepped and ready, I thought I'd have a set schedule for E, filled with crafts and activities and we'd NEVER get bored. I thought I'd throw great dinner parties and that my house would smell like freshly baked cookies and the floor would actually glisten. Basically, a mix of Martha Stewart and June Cleaver.
In reality; two weeks ago I sent some baby shower invites without the RSVP contact info, the three times I have attempted "crafting" with E he ate half of the supplies, I haven't washed my hair in three days, there are likely 3 baskets of clean, unfolded laundry by the dryer and I'm fairly certain my right foot is resting in a piece of avocado as I type. And, while my mind resembles Martha Stewart and my intentions those of June Cleaver my mouth, unfortunately, resembles Carmela Soprano and I am most definitely jumbled like Lorelai Gilmore.
I'm slowly come to terms with my mama-hood destiny. I don't look at it as giving up- I'm just becoming more relaxed. I am allowing myself to succeed in the things I am great at while giving myself grace to have imperfections everywhere else.
Sure I still have my days where I look around and think, whoa man, what happened here today?But, I realized that when I tried to be everything to everyone and when I tried to "do it all", some people got disappointed and some things got half- assed.
I can't stand half-assed and I shatter a bit when I disappoint the people I love.
So Instead of taking the things on that would make me a crazy, crumpled shell of a mom, I pick the things that are important to me and I make sure those get done well:
-->> I make time for exercise, often choosing that over showering because I know that is the only true way of controlling my anxiety (more to come on this later).
-->> I always plan our dinners for the week ahead. Sometimes breakfasts and lunches too, if I have time and am feeling creative. Not always, but often, I get to prep some aspects of those meals on the weekends. We eat pretty damn healthy. My kid loves veggies, fruits, whole wheat pasta and even greens in his smoothies.
-->> I walk daily. Sometimes twice a day. I have to because again, anxiety, but also because Lando the dog demands it and it's good for our souls.
-->> I work on my business daily. I love helping other mamas find time to move and enjoy their lives. It is my passion and, I'd rather write and article like this than fold laundry any day of the week.
-->>And most importantly- Ethan. He gets MOST of my attention. We play in the yard, he watches me cook, we sing, we dance, he helps me make the bed in the morning and "helps" me when I vacuum.
Sure, other stuff gets put off- laundry goes unfolded, I use a lot of dry shampoo, my house is nowhere as clean as I would like, and half of the crafts I have queued on Pinterest are going to have to wait but it's all good.
Because acknowledging that I'm a hot mess has allowed me to let go of (SOME of) my crazy high expectations. It has also allowed me to set priorities, have more meaningful conversations with my husband, and it's made me a BETTER mama.
I know when to give all of myself and I know when to let go.
I'm not suggesting that you try to keep from being type A, that you start being disorganized, or give up systems that are working well- because I'm not disorganized and I have my definitely have my little obsessive compulsories. What I'm asking of you is to evaluate your goals and where you stand in relation to those goals. If you're nowhere close, ask what you can let go of.
Because sometimes, as mamas, we need to let stuff go.
Make time for you. Be a hot mess for once.
Want to be a hot mess, or, want to hang out with me because I'm a hot mess?? Join my awesome tribe of mamas- working together to make movement, motherhood and mindset more fun. Sign up HERE!