I think I was about a year into mom-ing when the lightbulb went on.
I was sitting on the couch drinking a glass of wine, texting with a friend, also a new mom, deliberating over the challenging days we had both just experienced.
We were both wondering if we were doing stuff “right” and if we were doing our jobs well.
And then, in an exhausted, slightly tipsy haze it struck me- why do I care?
I’m never been perfect in any sense of the word. I like doing things well and I like to give things my best effort..
But, how do I perfect motherhood? What does a "PERFECT" mom look like?
Ethan seemed happy, he was developing well, he was eager to learn and discover stuff, and I was reading and singing to him, attempting activities, making healthy food, working on my patience…
So then, why was I so worried about how I was doing or even if I was doing it correctly? I realized, in that moment, that it’s not about being perfect; the perfect wife, the perfect mom or the perfect woman.
It’s about showing up- in whatever space, with whatever energy you have… and making the most of it.
It's about doing whatever we can do to make it through at that moment in that day.
Basically, it's winging it, mamas!
That might look different for each of us:
Maybe that means bringing your kiddo into bed with you so you can close your eyes for 5 more minutes
Maybe it's allowing yourself to finish a hot cup of coffee before anyone or anything gets your attention
Maybe it means that you turn on the TV for 20 minutes so you can fit in your workout
Maybe it's drinking some wine while you cook dinner so you can feel human again
It doesn't matter what it is. Stop letting yourself feel like you should fit into some box. Stop letting people tell you how to parent- even those that tell you to relax. Maybe, like me, you can't relax because, like me, you're uptight. It's ok. It really is. Your kids will be fine.
You do you, mama. Wing it; take yourself out of the mold. Find a new mold that allows you to be yourself and serve you and your family.
It’s not perfection- it’s life.
And even more so, it’s life with kids. Some days may be Pinterest-worthy and other days may make you (want to) drink a bottle of wine. Accept them both for what they are and move on.
Allow yourself to wing it and show up in your space however you need so that you are able to have some piece of mind.
Because, it's that piece of mind that makes you a better mom, wife, daughter, friend (whatever your roll) to those around you. And, it's that piece of mind that makes you happy.
Like my musings on motherhood? Or, interested in mastering your mindset as a mom? IT'S COMING! In a couple weeks I'll be releasing my Mindful Mama E-course where we'll work together to talk about mindfulness as mom's and help each other learn how to "wing it". Click the image below to sign up!